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Navigating a Neurotypical World: Autism Through a Counsellor’s Eyes

As a counsellor, I often sit with neurodivergent clients who feel like they’re constantly being asked to squeeze into spaces never meant to fit them. One of the most common stories I hear from autistic individuals—both children and adults—isn’t about autism itself, but about the struggle to exist in a world that isn’t designed for them.

Here's some shocking facts:

  • On average, it takes over 3.5 years from the first concern being raised to receiving an autism diagnosis in the UK.

  • As of 2024, over 150,000 people in England are waiting for an autism assessment.

  • 79% of autistic people experience mental health issues, especially anxiety and depression.

  • In the UK, autistic pupils are almost three times more likely to be excluded from school than their neurotypical peers

  • Autistic adults are 9 times more likely to die by suicide than the general population.

  • Only 29% of autistic adults are in employment. This is the lowest employment rate of any disability group in the UK.

 

Autism is not the problem.

The problem is trying to thrive in a world that demands conformity instead of compassion, sameness instead of support, and silence instead of understanding. From the moment a person is diagnosed with Autism it is framed as a deficit to be cured. Take a look below at the DSM criteria for an Autism Diagnosis- how would you feel if this is how you were categorised?


The Pressure to mask

Many autistic individuals learn early to “mask”—to hide or suppress their natural responses and instincts in order to appear more socially acceptable. They may force eye contact, copy facial expressions, or push through sensory overload just to avoid being labelled “difficult” or “weird.”


Masking can be deeply exhausting. It’s like putting on a costume every day just to be accepted—and after a while, that mask starts to weigh down the nervous system, self-worth, and mental health.


A world built for neurotypicals

Our systems—schools, workplaces, social structures—are often rigid. They reward sitting still, following social norms, communicating in expected ways. But these expectations can feel overwhelming or unnatural for many autistic individuals.

Imagine navigating:

  • Classrooms with bright lights and constant noise.

  • Workplaces that equate eye contact with confidence.

  • Friendships based on small talk rather than depth.

  • Medical professionals who dismiss sensory sensitivities.

These aren’t minor inconveniences—they’re daily stressors that can lead to anxiety, burnout, and feelings of isolation.


Coping with the disconnect

If you're autistic (or love someone who is), here are some gentle ways to cope in a world that often misunderstands neurodiversity:

  1. Unmask in safe spaces

    Find environments or people where you can drop the mask—where stimming, honesty, or needing space are respected, not judged. That’s where true rest and healing happen.


  2. Create sensory-friendly routines

    Small adjustments—noise-cancelling headphones, dim lighting, structured downtime—can protect your energy. Honour your sensory needs. They’re valid.


  3. Set boundaries without guilt

    It’s okay to say no to social events, take longer to respond to messages, or need extra time to process. Boundaries are not a failure to connect—they're a path to authentic connection.


  4. Seek affirming support

    Work with professionals who understand autism through a neurodiversity-affirming lens. You deserve support that celebrates your differences, not pathologises them.


  5. Reconnect with your truth

    Autism isn’t a deficit. It’s a different way of experiencing the world—rich with pattern-seeking, deep focus, honesty, empathy, and creativity. Give yourself permission to value the way your brain works.


What the world needs to learn

It’s not autistic people who need to change—it’s the systems, expectations, and assumptions that surround them. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could remove the barriers rather than expect neurodiverse individuals to overcome them, shown visually below.  

Let’s create liberation and stop expecting neurodiverse groups to change to access a neurotypical world.
Let’s create liberation and stop expecting neurodiverse groups to change to access a neurotypical world.

We need a shift from:

  • “How do we fix this?”

    to

  • “How do we support and understand this?”


Because the truth is, neurodiverse brains are not broken. They are beautiful, powerful, and deeply needed in a world that often values conformity over creativity.

As a counsellor, my greatest hope is that we continue to build a world where autistic individuals don’t just survive—but belong. Where differences are embraced, not erased. Where being yourself is not only safe—it’s celebrated.

You deserve that. Exactly as you are.

 

Medical Assessment Criteria for Autism:

How would you feel if this is how you were assessed? (Diagnostic Criteria (ASD) NCBDDD CDC)
How would you feel if this is how you were assessed? (Diagnostic Criteria (ASD) NCBDDD CDC)

 

Sources:

 

 
 
 

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